Last week Ringer threw all of its characters into cars and had them follow each other in pursuit of Martin/Charles financial records and flash drives. It was entertaining, and slightly silly, but there was an energy that we haven’t seen on the show in quite some time. Is this the beginning of a new golden age of Ringer?
Let’s bitch it out…Well slap some bangs on me and call me Bridget! After weeks of being the most inert, least melodramatic nighttime soap in recent memory, Ringer continues its upwards trend. ‘What We Have Is Worth The Pain’ is fast paced, leaves us with dangling questions (including a cliffhanger), and only insults our intelligence as viewers a few times (instead of the usual dozen).
Oh sure the reliance on flashbacks to remind us where and why objects and events are important is condescending (the hitman! the cell phone from the hitman! Ioan Gruffudd’s Andrew’s dutch angle entrance into Mike Colter’s Malcolm’s hotel room!), but let’s be honest: many of the events that set this story into motion occurred nearly fifteen episodes ago, so it’s helpful to have the refresher. I’ll admit that I’d forgotten about the cell phone Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar) took off the hitman at the party in episode 2 and I’m freakin’ recapping the show. Lord only knows how casual viewers are keeping up (which is sorta saying something considering there are still only about six characters on the show)!
In a way, this episode serves as an entry point – or at least a catch-up for less attentive viewers. The big event for me is the return of Siobhan, who more or less lays out her (somewhat mundane and obvious) master plan. This happens when Henry (Kristofer Polaha), the lusciously-maned writer, threatens to kick her Parisian butt to the curb for sleeping with small-head, big-body (RIP Tyler). And rightly so, I might add. This guy has been everyone’s patsy since the beginning of the series. Alas, he succumbs to the charms of the duplicitous twin once more as she elaborates on her death wish for Bridget because her twin killed her son, Shawn. Never mind that this is an incorrect statement considering Bridget let the kid get in a truck…(it’s not like she shotgun blasted him in the face or something).
The other part of Siobhan’s plan is taking down Andrew, who threatened to kill her when she confronted him with the Ponzi scheme long ago. The ideal situation: Andrew kills Bridget, proving his fatal intent while Siobhan takes evidence of the Ponzi scheme to the police and she and Henry live happily ever after. She knew that between faking her death and the Bodaway stuff, Bridget would take her place because Siobhan “knows Bridget better than she knows herself.” With Bridget dead and Andrew in jail, Siobhan is taking out two birds with one crazy Freaky Friday stone. As Henry deadpans, she’s “insane.” Of course, all it takes to get him back on her side is an invocation of Bridget’s role in Big Red’s death, as well as their unborn twins (actually Andrew’s). And just like that everyone’s favourite character with seventies porn hair is back onboard the revenge train!
This would all be so easy if only Malcolm wasn’t missing. If last week’s episode was all about finding those files and flash drives, tonight is all about finding Malcolm. Forever Lila (Jaime Murray) assumes he has the missing flash drive (the one she took from Tyler is filled with junk files). Bridget needs to find him because she fears Andrew, whom she’s convinced wants to kill her, is involved since the surveillance tapes prove Andrew went to Malcolm’s hotel before he disappeared. And Agent Machado (Nestor Carbonnell) wants to find him because Malcolm said he would testify against Bodoway before disappearing, which seems tied to Andrew Martin and a recent investigation at the SEC. Which means: ohmygawd folks, it’s all starting to come together! With Siobhan’s plans laid out, Machado actually cluing in to stuff that’s happening right in front of him, our narrative is finally getting some dramatic traction.
And Bridget…well, Bridget is no closer than ever to figuring out Siobhan hasn’t killed herself. I’m beyond frustrated with the number of near-miss times someone (anyone!) just needs to say one small detail about how they interacted with one twin when the other has an alibi for the truth to come out. All Andrew has to do in that final scene is mention their fight and Bridget could have been all “Wha? I was hanging with Solomon all day.” And bam! the truth comes out.
Instead…the guns come out. Someone puts a hit on Bridget and Andrew takes the bullet after confessing he still loves her (awww, sappy!). Is limo driver Solomon (Sean Patrick Thomas) the shooter? Is it another hitman? It is (please dear lord no) associated with Bodaway? And why is Machado randomly lurking around a loft that no one has visited in more than ten episodes? Tune in next week to find out!
- Solomon figured out that Bridget wasn’t Siobhan because the bitchy twin gets carsick. You mean he didn’t clue in because she asked ridiculous questions like “When did I first hire you?” She didn’t have amnesia people! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she’s fishing cause she doesn’t know!
- Malcolm is still missing. His cell phone is picked up behind a car wash (never a good sign – you know what kind of people hang at the car wash) and Andrew is lying about when he saw him. Let’s face it, people: the last time this happened, it led to baloney sandwiches and really poorly aimed head shots in the trunk of a car. Will Malcolm make it to the season (series) finale?
- Who killed Tyler? My money last week was on Forever Lila, but she plays dumb really well tonight. If she didn’t kill Tyler, then how did she get the flash drive? In truth she seems incapable of killing considering when things get rough, she jumps in the car and dials a random stranger to tell them she’s getting the hell out of dodge. A contradiction, this one.
- How stupid is Henry? Siobhan tells him she slept with another man, explains her incredibly convoluted plan for revenge, which he identifies as insane, and then he agrees to go along with her anyways. Why does he even want another set of twins? He never spends any time with the ones he already has!
- Finally, in the ‘B’ storyline that grinds everything to a halt every time it rears its ugly head, Juliet (Zoey Deutch) learns that her mother is an evil god-digging hag who hired a thug named (I kid you not) Cash Chilton (Nic Robuck) to beat up Tessa, her co-conspirator in the false rape accusation. Anyone who didn’t identify Cash as the perp as soon as we see his bloodied knuckles automatically gets their television watching license revoked for six months and has to take Juliet camping. P.S. I still hate this storyline.
And that’s a wrap for this week, Ringer fans. Were you impressed with the speed and storylines the show covered this week, or did it feel like one too many flashbacks? Did you love how many scenes featured Andrew walking out of the darkness, his face hidden in the gloom (because he’s a villain now, you see?!). Who did Forever Lila call on the phone? Should we hold out hope that Xerxes – the mole who tipped her off about Tyler – is actually a character and not just some boring SEC person we’ll never meet? And should we start taking bets on who bites it next? Sound off in the comments below!
Ringer airs Tuesdays at 9pm EST on The CW