Another week of January, another crop of (lackluster) films.
Let’s bitch it out…
Oh dear. If you’re going to skip a week at the theatres, this is the one to do it as we have a couple of stinkers and/or (maaaaaybe) guilty pleasures. Strangely enough both films being released this week will appeal to young men, so the likelihood is that they will cannibalize each other’s box office potential.
Jan 20, 2017
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (Wide)
- Cast: Vin Diesel (Saving Private Ryan), Donnie Yen (Ip Man), Ruby Rose (Orange is the New Black)
- Official synopsis: The third explosive chapter of the blockbuster franchise that redefined the spy thriller finds extreme athlete turned government operative Xander Cage (Diesel) coming out of self-imposed exile and on a collision course with deadly alpha warrior Xiang and his team in a race to recover a sinister and seemingly unstoppable weapon known as Pandora’s Box. Recruiting an all-new group of thrill-seeking cohorts, Xander finds himself enmeshed in a deadly conspiracy that points to collusion at the highest levels of world governments.
- Good for fans of: Shitty Bond rip-offs
- Is it worth your time? The month of bad action films continues and this one has all of the hallmarks of a stinker. Alternatively, if you enjoy turning off your brain and watching scantily clad ladies cavort around Diesel in faux fur amidst fake explosions, then this is your jam.
- Cast: James McAvoy (Wimbledon), Betty Buckley (Frantic), Anya Taylor-Joy (The Witch)
- Official synopsis: Though Kevin (McAvoy) has evidenced 23 personalities to his trusted psychiatrist, Dr. Fletcher (Buckley), there remains one still submerged who is set to materialize and dominate all the others. Compelled to abduct three teenage girls led by the willful, observant Casey (Taylor-Joy), Kevin reaches a war for survival among all of those contained within him—as well as everyone around him—as the walls between his compartments shatter apart.
- Good for fans of: Sybil, Lady in the Water
- Is it worth your time? Oh probably not. This is an M. Night Shyamalan flick after all. Despite the star power, this one looks like a mess. While some people feel that last year’s The Visit signified a return to form for Shyamalan, this flick is unlikely to continue his upward trajectory.
That’s it for this week. Next week we’ve got a strange one: it’s either a feel good family flick about the power of dogs, or a horror film about dogs dying. You be the judge!