What should be one of the best episodes of the season turns out to be a plodding, uninspired mess. What happened on this week’s Bitten?
Let’s bitch it out…
Each week cinephilactic (C) and his sister Stonehaven Groupie (SG) dissect the most recent episode of Bitten. This week they’re both at odds with each other and in near agreement (siblings!).
C: So this is a pretty big episode. What did you think?
SG: Actually I felt the opposite! I felt it too slow
C: Oh I didn’t like it. It was just clearly meant to be big because Clay (Greyston Holt) and Paige (Tommie Amber Pirie) rescued Elena (Laura Vandervoort) and Savannah (Kiara Glasco) from Aleister (Sean Rogerson)
SG: Yes they escaped and Rachel (Genelle Williams) grew a pair, but Elena’s crazy wandering and way too much Paige made it a bit of a slog. (Side Note: I want to bitch slap Paige every time she talks)
C: I found it slow and poorly executed
SG: Me too! For so much going on, I felt it dragged in weird spots. Like I seriously do not care about Paige’s almost-ex
C: Let’s zero in on the hallucinations because that was my biggest issue. Should we believe that there was a connection between Elena, Savannah and Clay? Because why else would Elena know exactly what they’re wearing if not…
C: And what was with the bit where Savannah shows Elena herself sleeping? I thought Elena’s entire story line was in her head the whole time, but then she’s suddenly really outside banging baseball bats and lighting shit on fire
SG: Well, I did like the closeness of Clay and Elena. But what was with that messed up bunny?
C: Clearly a big part of the hallucinations is that they “reveal things” to Elena: how much she loves Clay, how guilty she feels about Hot Phillip’s death…and apparently an irrational fear of bunnies
SG: But she likes to eat bunnies. I thought that the walk-about stuff was interesting – as you suggest, it was a bit of self discovery. Compared to Paige, this was not the same thing. I actually give a crap about Elena. Paige can go jump off a cliff.
Savannah storyline – switching from Aleister’s control to siding with Elena – was neat. Well except for the age inappropriate dress. I just need to throw an “ewwww Aleister is gross” comment.
C: Yeah that dress is not an appropriate uncle/niece gift. By the way, guess what I’m getting your daughter in about 12 years?
SG: I will kill you
I just liked that Savannah actually started questioning Aleister this episode. Even before the lock/key and Elena’s awesome slide-in about being her friend.
C: I just wish that the “connection” between Elena and Savannah had been better explained. I get that they had that moment between their cells a few weeks ago, but this seemed a little too “because magic” for me
SG: I think it’s a they are both a unique version of their own kind. Know what it’s like to feel different, feel alone and over sheltered. I think it’s something they’ll go into more. In the books SPOILER Savannah plays a part in clay and Elena actually thinking about having kids END SPOILERS
C: I guess. There’s just too much being left open to interpretation. The show needs to find a balance between being too explicit (the entire opening was redundant because we already knew Ruth was Aleister’s mom) and the vague (so what is the Undoing exactly???)
PS I found it hilarious that Ruth has the exact same haircut 30 years earlier. Like WTF
SG: Lol! I loved that too! Step away from the long bob!!!!! I did like Aleister’s sneaky faked death!!!
C: It didn’t work for me. It makes everyone look like idiots for not even checking the body. Why would you assume that the most powerful witch, who is clearly full of tricks, died after being impaled in a teleportation spell that Paige couldn’t even control?!
SG: Because Paige sucks 😉
C: It feels like a get out of jail free card to delay the big battle (something Bitten did in the first season far too often)
SG: I, on the other hand, look forward to seeing what they’ll do
C: Fair enough. I just think if you’re gonna hold things off, which is a natural narrative development on a lot of shows, at least make what we see worth it. The invisible slow mo spell casting climax between Paige and Aleister was pretty underwhelming
SG: Meh. See above Paige comment
C: This episode just came off looking/feeling cheap
SG: I thought so too. Especially after the last couple episodes. There were good fights, interesting twists and a bit of insight into the characters. This week was dragging and vague
SG: High notes: Rachel earns her paycheck!!!
C: Ummm…does she? There was a lot of whining in that glass cage
SG: Or she questions shit, took charge and kicked Logan (Michael Xavier) in the ass!
Plus she didn’t hide and cry.She even sacrificed her underwire!!! (Side Bar: can I just point out that baby isn’t showing at all? C’mon producers: get that woman a belly!!!)
C: True. The loss of a bra is the ultimate sacrifice
SG: Lol. Obliviously, you never never tried running around braless 😉
C: I think I was harbouring carry-over frustrations. Elena got out of her cell so easily after so long and then Logan does too. I may have missed it: did they de-power the slaves by stopping the top?
SG: They did! Way to go doing something. Ralog!
C: Ugh – I refuse to call them that.
SG: Of course, then they ran away and left Elena…. (To their knowledge). What about Logchel?
C: Yeah. That was bizarre. You would think that they would give a shit about her. Maybe Rachel was still freaked out by witnessing her shift. Also: no.
SG: Still, they’ll probably hit a tree or something and fuck up their own escape. Ganrach?
C: No. No Brangelina names
C: Final thoughts? Do you think they brought back Diane (Natalie Brown) because they couldn’t get Paul Greene’s Philip?
SG: Yeah I can see that (Side Bar: What the hell is Greene doing?) I’m not admitting Diane came back – with all that mud and blood and Elena’s crazy state, that could have just been that freaky ass bunny
C: I hoped it was Sondra.
SG: Sorry. She’s a puddle of goo
C: Clearly the bunny is our new fav character
SG: So I’m not crazy – she saw it again outside at the end, right?
C: Yup. I kept waiting for the reveal that the entire escape was in her mind
SG: Lol! Great minds think alike!!!
Your turn: Was this episode a disappointment considering how many important developments occur? Were you impressed by Rachel’s gusto? What’s your take on the bunny? Sound off below.
Bitten airs Saturdays at 9pm EST on SPACE